Today, I want to talk about all the stuff we inherit that doesn't fit in a storage unit. Remember my storage unit? Cleaning that out uncovered a whole dust storm of emotional baggage I didn't even know I was carrying! Because it was invisible! My mom itemized all the family china but no one gave me a purchase order for all the feelings that came with it! Wild, right?
So, now I go to thurrr-apy. That's when you go to therapy but you are embarrassed to let people know that you are reckoning with the tendermost parts of your life, so you call it "thurrr-apy" so it sounds like syrup and therefore goes down sweeter.
I also went to the exhibit of Diana's dresses at Kensington Palace. Wow, Prince William and Prince Harry's dead mom storage unit is A++ double luxury! They have a lot more people to help them sift through the her stuff. I hope they have someone to help them sift through the invisible shit too.
I liked looking at all the beading, and the sequins, and remembering that one time Princess Diana danced with John Travolta. The exhibit was airy, well-lit, orderly. That is not usually the case with our internal life.
Here are some things you might have packed inside your emotional baggage:
- reactionary habits
- behavioral patterns
- your pain
- your ancestors' pain
- more rage
But since you are an ice dragon, you can melt the ice wall that is keeping you from your freest self.
You didn't select this emotional baggage. You filled this internal storage unit with stuff from other people. This stuff was given to you by people who thought they were protecting you, or who were protecting themselves. Sometimes we are just the bystanders when other people are working out their shit. Sometimes that shit got worked out on us. Sometimes we hold onto that shit so we can stay close to the people we love.
It is hard to lose people. It is also hard to give away what you don't need. But it cuts to keep it, like snuggling a teddy bear made of chainsaws.
Will, Harry, strangers on the internet, we're not keeping stuff anymore, mmkay?
Just like I gave away two dozen fine dining sets to charity, we can release all the other stuff too. I don't motherfucking care if that china was hand-painted in Italy, the emotional pattern doesn't work for me, OKAY! (I kept the champagne glasses. Their sweetness will do just fine.) Let the rest go, even when your fingers ache to call it all back.
Konmari your emotional storage. What does not spark joy, what no longer works for your life, give it away. Surrender it to the the sky, or dump the haggard monsters and dust bunnies of your heart into the ocean, like ashes, let it float away.
Hand back the pain they burdened us to carry.
You might have a moment of regret, watching it go. It is easier to let the rain fall on us than make the effort to fix the roof.
It's important that we do fix the roof. It was leaking, for fuck's sake.
You can live with a full heart. You can forge new tools, learn new customs. Invent the love you want. Build from mud the home, village, heart that can truly shelter you.
One more story:
I had rough day earlier this summer. I picked two goddess cards: Vesta and Guinevere.
The message: clean your house, love is coming.
Oh god, I thought. Do I have to mop? And reactivate my match.com account?
In the shower, the answer came to me.
Clean your emotional house, self-love is coming.
Move through the dark and dusty corners. Make room for the light to shine in.